Playing Pretend (In A Trailer)
We recently posted about our dream to spend some time living full-time on the road. We shared that idea with our kids a few weeks ago. Like our friends whom we shared that dream with, our kids are very excited. And while it’s still a long way off in the realm of possibilities, it doesn’t hurt to have a dream. And we’re learning that talking about that dream with our kids can have some positive impacts, as well.
Erin found our daughter Ruby saving up her money for a “caravan”:
And recently, I’ve started taking the kids to our nearby RV store…to play pretend. They get a kick out of browsing around the lot, picking one out, and pretending to live in it.
Wiggle Out Loud
We had a blast this past weekend at the 2nd Annual “Wiggle Out Loud” Family Music Festival here in Oklahoma City. We were downtown grabbing lunch as a family when I remembered that the festival was happening just a few blocks away!
We drove over to find a ton of kid-friendly booths, food trucks, a splash pad, and a live music stage with family-friendly music.
Our first stop was the “Backstage Pass” booth where Ruby (complete in floral skirt and Cinderella cowgirl boots) created a backstage pass and wristband.
Backyard Campout
A few months back, I took Ava on a daddy-daughter adventure. I knew the trip would involve a few miles of hiking and didn’t think Ruby (3 1/2 at the time) would be able to swing it. As Ava and I pulled out of the drive way that day, I remembered seeing Ruby standing in the garage with tears in her eyes. But I promised her I’d make it up to her — an adventure just for the two of us.
But summer showed up the following weekend, and my desire for camping went into hibernation. That is, until this past week. We woke up Friday morning to temperatures in the 50’s (down from mid-90’s the week before). I woke up with a spring in my step: fall was here! I spent the day in the backyard with the girls, mowing the lawn, trimming trees, and prepping for the pool to be closed down for the season. As the day started to wind down, little Ruby (now a 4-year-old) politely asked, “Daddy, can we go camping tonight?”
I remembered the promise I made her back in June and my eyes got wide with excitement. “Yeah! Let’s do it!”
Scared of the Dark
So after dinner, I sent Ruby to get her pajamas on, while I pulled the tent out of the garage. Ruby helped me bring out a pile of blankets to the tent. She then ran back inside to get her most prized possessions: “Bear bear and blanky.” We went back inside to say goodnight to everyone. Her big sister Ava leaned over and whispered, “You’re going to have so much fun tonight, Ruby!” Ruby smiled back. We made our way to the tent, climbed in, and closed the tent zippers. We laid there in the dark, listening to the crickets, cicadas, and a far off train.
“Daddy, I’m scared.”
“Scared of what?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
I tried to laugh it off. I told her about the moon and stars. I told her about cicadas and how they would be going away soon. All this to try and distract her from any irrational fears she had. I don’t remember Ava ever being afraid of camping out. And if she had, I don’t think Ava ever had an option of going inside: most of her early campouts were far out in the woods where there was no option but to fall asleep.
Thirty minutes later and Ruby had had enough. “Daddy, I want to go sleep inside.” My first instinct was to get frustrated. I had spent time and energy setting everything up and also wanted Ruby to face her fears and get used to sleeping outside. But at the same time, I don’t ever want to force my kids to do something they’re not comfortable with. I had come to a similar conclusion one time with Ava while I was teaching her how to rock climb. She suddenly became terrified of an easy roped climb that she was more than capable of. But I never want my kids to look back on their times with me and feel like I forced them. I’ll always encourage them and try to convince them they’re capable of more than they think — but I’ll never force them.
“Of course you can go inside, honey.” Ruby giggled a little, grabbed her bear-bear and blanky and ran inside to sleep with her mom. And Ava, seizing the opportunity, grabbed her blank and ran outside to the tent.
“Can I sleep outside with you?” she asked.
“Of course you can!” I responded.
Ruby: thanks for staying up with me last night. I loved our time in the tent together. Looking forward to many more adventures together this fall. You’re a beautiful little girl with a fun spirit. I love you, little girl.
What About You?
Have you ever camped out with your kids? How old were they when you first took them camping?
Birthday Presents
Our little Ruby turned 4 years old today. Say it with me now: “They grow up so fast.” It’s incredible how much this little girl has grown up in the last year. 3 years old was rough on Ruby. You may have heard the phrase “Terrible 2’s”, but with both our girls, it was the “Terrible 3’s.” Lots of tantrums, sobbing, and general malaise.
Erin’s parents were generous enough to fly out from San Diego for Ruby’s birthday. We started the day with a trip to our favorite donut store in Guthrie, OK. Ruby got her favorite: chocolate with sprinkles. Afterwards, we all came home for her party. Grandpa helped clean up outside, while I cleaned up the house and Erin and her mom made snacks. We’d been planning on a pool party for weeks, but a cold snap and a rain storm ruined our plans. Thankfully, we (and our friends and their kids) are flexible. In a different season in our lives, we probably would have scrambled to rent some indoor space for Ruby’s birthday party. But we’ve been learning a lot lately about what our kids need (and don’t need). And Ruby didn’t need some big expensive party at a local pizza place. She just needed to have some fun.
So Erin bought a piñata.
How I Regained (some of) My Sanity
When we moved into our new house last year, I remember commenting to Erin about the odd layout of the house. It was an older style, U-shaped ranch house. Entering the front door, you were dropped into the living room. Kitchen to your right, bedrooms to your left. But supposedly, the owners decided that living room wasn’t big enough, so they added another room off the kitchen. This room was marketed as the “big family entertaining room”, but as we did our final walkthrough before purchasing, I remember asking Erin what she thought we should do with the first living room… First-world problem, I know.
Like the idiots that we were at the time, we felt our first goal was certainly to find some sort of furnishings for it. And coming from a temporal apartment nearby, we were short on “furniture for extra living rooms.” So we bought some fancy “sitting room” couches — presumably to sit on while we read our books by the fire, sipped our tea, and pretended that our kids weren’t screaming in the other room.
But as the months passed, I found myself yelling at the kids more and more: “Get off that couch! Those are our nice couches!” I could only imagine what sort of stories they’d tell their kids about their cranky old dad not letting them sit on the “nice” couches. To make matters worse, the other living room — the one we actually used — was constantly full of toys. Not wanting to deal with the wrath of “angry couch-protecting dad”, they had decided to move play time into the one room I actually wanted to sit in after a long day.
John Muir: Try the Mountain Passes
Few places in this world are more dangerous than home. Fear not, therefore, to try the mountain passes. They will kill care, save you from deadly apathy, set you free, and call forth every faculty into vigorous, enthusiastic action. John Muir, The Mountains Of California
Leading Up: LifeChurch.tv Q3 All-Staff Meeting
My notes from our quarterly LifeChurch.tv All-Staff. Senior Pastor Craig Groeschel presenting
Dreaming Of The Open Road
A few weeks ago, I came home to find my wife Erin sitting on the couch, watching a short documentary on our Apple TV. I put my bag down, and joined her as she finished a short piece about a guy turning his empty backyard pool into an in-ground greenhouse. Erin has always had a thing for gardening, and I love watching her eyes light up when she sees people doing things like this.
“I found some cool documentaries today.” She started flipping back through the list, recounting the details of each one she had watched. She paused on one for a second, turned to me, and said, “Oh. You shouldn’t watch this one.” She smiled mischievously.
“Come on! You can’t do that to me!”, I said and smiled back.
“Ok, but you have to promise me you’re not going to do something crazy.” After almost 11 years of marriage, Erin knows my propensity for spontaneity quite well.
“Deal,” I said. I may have been crossing my fingers.
Starting Out
I recently went to lunch with a friend of mine. Dave is in his mid-20’s and he and his wife are expecting their first baby (a boy!) this fall. As we sat down to eat, he quickly made it clear why he had asked me to lunch.
“How can I be a good dad?”
Whoa. Let’s back that train up a little.
First off, your kid hasn’t even been born yet. What could I possibly prepare you for other than the making sure you take care of your wife during her pregnancy. Sure, I could tell you about cankles, small bladders, and pitocin, but you want to know about parenthood?
Second, who am I? Sure, I’ve managed to pro-create 3 times. And yes, none of my kids have committed any felonies. But I’m not perfect. I lose my temper. Our house is a mess. Some days I fear my kids have years of therapy ahead of them because of their parents. You want advice from this guy?
But as we continued to talk that day, I began to realize that there were a few things I could share. Erin and I have both been through a lot in our 6 years of parenthood. We haven’t been through it all, but what we’ve learned we’d love to share. And if we can share it with one friend, why not try to share it with a whole bunch of others?
So here we are. With a blog. I didn’t think I’d ever see the WordPress admin ever again in my life, but I’ll brave some PHP if it means helping out my friends. I hope you enjoy this little journal. I hope it helps you see your job as a parent as something to embrace and enjoy. Parenthood is scary as hell, but it’s coolest thing you’ll ever get to be a part of. It’s a wild ride. It’s an adventure. It’s an empty book just waiting for you, your spouse, and your kids to start writing scribbling all over.
Hi there, I'm Jon.
Writer. Musician. Adventurer. Nerd.
Purveyor of GIFs and dad jokes.